This May sound strange but I can’t explain it.

I’m a straight woman only ever been with men.

The last year or two I can’t help but fantasise about getting with a woman but I don’t want to kiss or touch her or do anything sexual to her (still feel like it would gross me out) but I would love a woman to sexually please me with her mouth, hands and rubbing her own private parts on mine (literally get so turned on just thinking about it)

How could I go about getting my dream?