A lil transparency

I’m approaching 43 this year.

My husband and I have been trying for about 6 yrs (his infertility). It would be his first, my 4th. Well I was suppose to have my period April 7th (off top of my head). I was 16 days late. I did take a test couple days after (I have been up to 3 days late before), bfn, sad but expected. A week goes by and no period. Took another, bfn still. Called to make an Appt for premenopause and hcg count. That Appt isn’t until this coming Thursday. I had soo many symptoms of pregnancy; stuffy nose, fatigue, nausea, headache, mild cramping and lower back pain etc (most I don’t get with my period) than the other night I started spotting a lil bit but was optimistic and had bad cramping. But was able to sleep. Yesterday the spotting got worst and symptoms was mostly gone and period cramps was coming in. Yesterday was devastating, I just knew I was pregnant. Decided to test and was negative. So I guess it wasn’t a miscarriage (I never experienced) but I was still wondering. I was defeated yesterday. Menopause is sadly approaching sooner than I want it to is what I concluded. But today, I’m ok but sadly I’m still holding on hope that I was carrying twins and I am still pregnant or I have what my mom had when she was pregnant with my sibling and bleed for 5 months. I’ve been having hope for 6 years now. I wanted to vent and share. X-post