Currently silently crying in my laundry room..

I’ve gained weight since my husband and I’ve met between bad food relationship and having a baby.. about 43 pounds heavier. I’ve been working my ass off trying to lose it and a friend of his offered us a treadmill. I said yes so we went to get it.

There was a few of his friends there when we got it and he said that he would motivate me alright, by holding up a donut, no wait even better a brownie like what I ate earlier today after lunch in front of me and I’d get to have a bite of it after I ran for 30 minutes. It was so embarrassing and I already feel awful about myself. I wanted to shrink up and crawl in a hole.

Then to make things worse.. when we were headed home he said that he would have someone drive his truck instead and he’s hang out on the tailgate holding something I wanted and I had to run after him to get it. That would be my motivation.. I quickly ran into our laundry room to get me more water but to also cry. I’ve never felt so bad about myself in my life. I have always struggled with food (anorexia and recently eating my feelings since my mom passed) and having a baby did not help. I’ve been drinking mainly water lately, plating my meals 1/4 protein, 1/4 starch and 1/2 or rest of plate in veggies plus counting my calories.. I’ve been watching my sweets and just making choices based off of a healthier me. Has anyone else’s husband done this? Am I just being a crybaby? I feel awful 😔