boyfriend watches a lot of porn

hi,

the title is pretty self explanatory. to preface, i know it’s a healthy and normal thing. he watches it (and plays games with it) frequently, which i try not to mind. i don’t watch a lot of porn or masturbate, so maybe i am just surprised by how much he does.

i think it firstly upsets me that he is so secretive about it. we are (as far as i know) open about everything else—far past comfortable with each other. i’ve seen him do some pretty embarrassing things, and him, me. i guess i also wish that he were conservative in his porn like i am (ex. once a month) but i know that’s too big of an ask to ever tell him that

i did something bad tonight and snooped on his stuff (i know, i didn’t mean to, it was just up and it led me down a rabbit hole) and it just made me sick at the thought of him looking at these women who looked and sounded nothing like me. his computer is in our room, and timestamps in his history showed he was looking at it while i was sleeping. he was looking at some really… weird stuff, i think. it just made me queasy and i had to stop for my own sake.

i’m not sure if this is an advice or a rant, but thank you for listening :)

xx