Just feeling discouraged. I’m a SAHM to a 2.5year old and 1 year old. I’m depressed. Hate my life. Anxiety’s through the roof. I see a therapist. I have one night off a week (husband takes the kids), I’m in a church group and have mom friends. I take my kids to events, open gyms, the library, and my daughter is in dance etc. I feel like I’ve been TRYING and doing the right things for months now. But im still depressed, anxious, isolated. I need an identity outside idk my kids. I need to do something I love.

My husband works and is pretty checked out. He loads the dishes and takes out the trash. But won’t gather the trash around the house or wash any dishes that don’t fit in the dishwasher.

I do everything else around the house, the cooking, bills, budget, grocery shopping, etc.

It’s too much. I have had SEVERAL conversations with my husband. He’s stuck in this “bachelor” mindset. It’s all about him and me and the kids are chopped liver. He used to come and be present with the kids. But now he’s so checked out. I can’t get him to help me with anything unless I threaten to leave him or tell him I’m going to KMS… I don’t use those things to manipulate him. They rarely come up. But once I say one of those things he kicks into gear for a day or two then he stops.

Last night I asked him to put a load of laundry in. The load was in a basket next to the washer. I woke up this morning… he told me he didn’t do put a load in cause the DRYER was running. Some bullshit answer.

Anyway… he’s always told me I can go back to work. So I told him I want to go back this fall. He said I can go part time cause he doesn’t wNt the kids in full time daycare… :( I don’t want to go part time.

And I don’t get any money to spend for eating out or stuff to do with the kids. But he eats out any time he wants at work even if he had lunch that day. Or when he takes the kids out he takes them for lunch and dessert and whatever else.

Idk guys. I guess I’m just looking for validation. Like am I expecting too much? I’m so tired. And tired of his bullshit :(