I think the fear of purity culture is ruining my relationship with sex

I have been with my bf for 5 years and when I first met him and we began discussing sex and sexuality, I told him I'm waiting for marriage. Now that was when we were 15 and now I'm 20, a few months from 21. We have been discussing sex recently and my views have somewhat changed. I want to lose it to him but I'm always scared of the after, such as what if I get pregnant, or what if God smites me for having sex outside of marriage, or what if my mom figures out and disowns me (cause she has said she would do this if I did start having sex. Very religious woman).

I don't know what to do and I'm already feeling guilty even though I haven't done it yet. What should I do? How do I let this go if anyone else has gone through this guilt?

P.s. I've been on birth control for almost a year due to irregular periods, so I'm already prepared on that end if I do decide to have sex.