Broken

A little over three months ago I ended my 5 year relationship. Something in my gut didn't feel quite right and he was becoming very distant, abusive emotionally and starting to physically hurt me (squeezed my hand so hard while we were praying at the table with my family that my engagement ring bruised my finger; choking me hard in public places). Anytime he hurt me or criticized me he blew it off as a joke which lead me to believe that I was overreacting. Anyways, I had a feeling that he was leading me on about wanting a family with me, so I sat down with him and he confirmed that he no longer wanted kids. I ended it there because I felt lead on. Come to find out he had been cheating on me since two weeks after he proposed ( probably longer because I found condoms missing a couple years back and we never used protection). I feel so stupid for trusting him when my intuition was screaming at me for so long. A few weeks back we had an argument and he told me that I was easily replaced, and he's happier than ever. It was a huge punch in the gut. My heart is starting to hurt less, but I still find myself thinking about him every so often. I still see him everyday as we own a house together, so I think once he's gone for good, I'll be able to heal fully. I'm just struggling to find hope for my future and God's plan for my life. I don't want to be alone forever.