Sibling issue

So I'm starting to get really concerned about this.

I am a stepmom of 3 teenage boys in all various stages of puberty - 11, 14 and 17, and before you would say 11 isn't puberty, oh boy it does definitely feel that way 😅-

Anyway, the issue is that 14yo hates the 17yo.

I rarely use the word hate, but he literally cannot stand him. I don't think there's any reason for it either.

17yo would help him, in a kind way, not being malicious because he knows his brother doesn't want his help or just be normal or neutral.. more like 14yo asks for the milk (to no-one in particular), 17yo passes the milk and then gets scoffed. If he's near him, taking normal usage of space, he'll often get pushed for no reason. 14yo is constantly looking down on 17yo and it shows, he's being very non verbally aggressive all the time.

My partner is also terribly worried, his ex claims there are zero issues, however all the kids say that there are huge issues between all of them and 14yo and his mom.. idk..

What ca we do?

I feel like punishments would make things worse.

@tkristen

I must admit, I thought about this, but this really isn't an option for reasons that are too elaborate to explain.

@Carry

14yo just doesn't respond at all considering why he hates him so much.

@Casey

That is not up to me to "make therapy an option", I am not his guardian.

Like I said before, there's 9 years of reasons why we're not going to force therapy upon anyone. Dad asked Mom about therapy, mom said no. To force therapy would be to open pandora's box once again. No one benefits from their angry scorned mom. Especially not the kids. They have enough trauma's from the last time she and my partner disagreed. (she had demanded 30,000€ and he refused, she had no right to the money so she couldn't go through the courts to get the money she wanted so she had the kids lie about physical abuse to a psychologist, and she was gathering all sorts of fake evidence so she could take his kids away, and she took a low wage job, so he'd have to pay her a higher monthly amount. She was fabricating all sorts of fake written evidence of abuse in e-mails to my partner. Her lawyer must have cought on because a few weeks after she got a lawyer this stuff was slowing down and she started bribing the kids, and playing the abused wife act telling the kids their dad stole from them etc..)