A Sad Ending to A Wonderful Dream 💔

I have Brain cancer & i wasn’t actively TTC , I was hoping to get my cycle on track for the chance to for when the time was right. I know they say not to question god but why would i be blessed with a baby he knew I wouldn’t be able to carry right now ? Why am i forced to make a decision that i’ve always been so against my entire life. It’s keeping me up at night an i break down crying through out the days. I’m so heartbroken. Why did this happen to me. I so desperately wanted another baby just not right after a brain surgery an right before chemo. I don’t understand how my dr’s missed this , I don’t understand how this happened because i’ve had a partial hysterectomy , radiation and 12 rounds of chemo ; so the likelihood of my fertility is slim to none. I never thought my BFP would hurt so much 💔