Vacation without our kids

I feel so guilty...i tried to cancel my booking and i cant cancel! My daughters are soon to be 3 and 4 1/2. It will be our first vacation without my kids. My first time away from them. This trip is 3 nights away. I thought i could do it. the trip is in 3 months andthecloser it gets the more im anxious. I tried to cancel the trip only to find out its only refundable within 24 hrs. Can anyone ease my mind. Any tips on how to navigate this? They will be with my mother and i need tips on how to prepare all of us for this.