Porn..

My husband has been watching porn and this isn’t the first time, we’ve had convos about it before and he’s told me he’d stopped cause he realized he’s hurting our marriage. But what do you know a month or even a couple weeks go by and he’s watching it again and I catch him and or there’s evidence of it all over our bathroom if you know what I mean ( extremely gross I know). We recently had a convo about it again and he said it’s hard to what to be intimate with me when I don’t take care of myself such as going to the gym doing make up or my hair or dressing nice , I’m a STAHM to a 2 1/2yr old who is wild and if I ever do go out it’s for grocery shopping so why am I gonna get all dolled up for grocery shopping or for my 2yr old it’s not like when I had work anymore and I told him that and he’s like that still doesn’t excuse the not working out and I told him I just don’t have motivation to do it anymore and I’m at a healthy weight so I’m not gonna push my self and he left it alone after that..

but what Reallt hurts me is he’s looking up things I don’t have..

for example right now it’s ALL big tits and 36d or 36dd to be exact. I don’t have big boobs at all I never went passed at 36a with puberty my sisters are the ones who got lucky. And he keeps saying oh no I’m a ass man I only care about ass. But then this happens and I just feel sick to my stomach and horrible about my body cause it’s like he doesn’t even love/ like my body he wants something completely else..

with this being said I’ve stopped being in the mood for ANYTHING and have told him no multiple times cause I just don’t feel comfortable anymore doing it…

I just don’t know what to do or how to not let it rub me the wrong way that’s he’s only looking up things I don’t have..