abuse? crying and shaking.

I should know better than to ask if this is abuse because I know it is, but it’s almost like I don’t want to accept it as being that or like he can change even though similar things have happened.

I’ve been in the bathroom for 15 minutes now crying because I can’t believe my husband would do what he just did at all, let alone while I’m 14 weeks pregnant and basically in front of our other 2 kids. one of them saw most of it and they both heard it all

It all started when my husband was yelling and cussing at our 5 year old for “never listening” and just being so mean so I told him to stop and told him our child was not even being bad and didn’t deserve to be yelled at. Then my husband got mad at me and began to yell violently at me saying he’s not gonna allow our son to act certain ways just because I allow it. I kept telling him to calm down and that made him more mad (it always does, i have no idea why) so then he threw a bottle of ketchup and I said “what else are you gonna do? Just go ahead and do it then!” And I told him to stop acting like a bitch and that set him off. I know that wasn’t right for me to say that especially in front of the kids. I said it out of frustration and anger. then he grabbed the table chair while I was sitting in it and he slid me across the kitchen in the chair and grabbed my neck and face not hard enough to hurt me physically and he screamed in my face while still grabbing it and told me to call him a bitch again and see what happens. Then he slid the kitchen table across the kitchen and everything on the table flew everywhere. At this point he was acting so violently and I was scared because I didn’t want anything to hit my stomach and harm my pregnancy. I told him that and he just kept throwing stuff off the table. Then he randomly snapped out of it and been quiet ever since and acting normal with the kids. I don’t understand this behavior. I also think it traumatized me, it kinda feels like it didn’t even happen. I don’t know what to do now. I’m just in shock and it’s hurtful and that he would do something like that to me while I’m pregnant and in front of our kids. I don’t want them witnessing violence and thinking that’s ok. It’s really bothering me the most that the kids heard/saw it and I can’t stop crying. And that there was a possibility of him harming my pregnancy if anything he threw would have hit me in my stomach. How do I get past this? It was out of nowhere. Last time he did something violent he cried and promised it would never happen again and I know he feels bad but that doesn’t change anything. Sorry if this post is all over the place, I can’t even think straight right now.

My kids are acting so unbothered and going about their normal business and keep asking me why I’m still in the bathroom and not saying anything about what happened, I just hope they’re not traumatized more than anything else.