I’m a horrible person

I have been struggling with TTC for over a year. I was diagnosed with PCOS and nothing has worked so far. My friends and family knew I have been wanting a baby more than anything from the get-go.

But now, everyone around me is pregnant and I’m not. My best friend, my god-sister, my cousin, my sister-in-law, and my coworker are all pregnant right now.

I want to be happy for them but it’s like a kick in the teeth. I am filled with so much envy and I noticed I’ve started separating myself from them all.

I feel like a bad person for being so jealous and full of hatred on the inside but pretending to be excited to their faces. I am trying so hard to be happy for them but it hurts so much. Too much.

My motivation to even get out of bed is gone and I don’t know what to do.