In 2021 I was working in daycare and I caught the new strain of Covid that popped up at that time and I had absolutely zero warning l.. i had not even been feeling sick..I just couldn’t breathe one night, I’m an asthmatic and my inhaler and my nebulizer weren’t working and on top of that I just had this sudden urgency like “I am fucking dying, I’m DYING what the FUCK!” Like I kept telling my boyfriend at the time and had him rush me to the hospital where I got out of the car and fell down, and he had to pick me up and carry me inside, he’s yelling because I’m blue and obviously in bad shape and I looked at the triage nurse and I said “I’m dying” and puked violently like the exorcist on this poor nurse, I didn’t even feel it coming I was in the middle of talking “I’m dy-“ nope instant vomit with no warning, and passed out. I wake up later and I’m being told I have gone septic and I have pneumonia in all lobes of my lungs from Covid and my body was trying to have a pulmonary embolism, also my heart was throwing a fit about it apparently. So I actually really was about to die. i was there for weeks, in a makeshift ICU in the psych ward bc there was no other place to put me, i had to sit in my own ick for days and when you are THAT sick youre literally out of your mind. i had covid amnesia after leaving but my memories came back later over time. It was an extremely traumatic experience for me as well and I think that didn’t help the memory loss.

i was a buttface to my nurses, essentially because i wqs so fucking sick that i wanted to die and they wouldnt let me and yes when you are that sick, youre really chill with the idea of death at least for me, because i was exhausted in a way that didnt even seem possible and not breathing was such a relief because it was easier than struggling so hard. so i was heavy beefin with one of em specifically who said she was gonna trach my ass if i kept trying to give up.

so i feel extremely bad ab this, and recently found out through posting it on reddit that i can look at my medical charts and find their names, i called up there to see if they are still there and only one is and i bought her lunch and got flowers delivered to her with an apology for being a half dead ass hat and a thank you for helping me not be a fully dead ass hat. (Not verbatim😂). shes probably going to be bought lunch alot and sent snacks and flowers for keeping me alive.

it makes me sad that i dont know where the other nurses are.

If you’re a nurse who worked through Covid, thank you. We remember and we appreciate you. AND, we are very very sorry if we were butts.