Boyfriend wont let me break up

I’ve been with my “boyfriend” for 11 years. We have been living separately for the last 2 years. We just see each other randomly. I have my own apartment. He’s living in his mom’s apartment in NYC. She doesn’t live there anymore she just comes and goes randomly. She married a millionaire and doesn’t stay in the city anymore she lives like an hour away. My boyfriend was supposed to be paying her a few hundred dollars in rent to live in that apartment and he complains about it. He’s 35 years old, mind you.

He’s not working. He lost his job in June, but is collecting unemployment now. Doing nothing but sitting around everyday in the city, smoking weed with his friends and playing video games.

I’m working and paying bills every month. Rent, electricity, car payment, car insurance, wifi, gas money, groceries. All by myself. And I’m fine with that. I actually enjoy having my own space now. Without being with him.

He cheated on me 3 years ago and broke up with me for a coworker he didn’t even know, and really hurt me. I lost weight and it was just probably the worst experience of my life…..

Fast forward to now, 3 years later…. I kicked him out a month after I moved into my new apartment (2years ago). I just couldn’t be in the house with him anymore. After someone hurts you to that degree it doesn’t feel that great to be with them, and have to pretend like that never happened…..

Now, If I stop answering his texts and calls, he will take a taxi from NYC, 2 hours upstate to my house. Without even telling me… and up staying here for a week. Basically FORCING me to be with him. He’s here now he showed up last Wednesday after I ignored him. 10 DAYS he has been in my house, uninvited. Every time I tell him to leave he ends up staying another 2 days.

He doesn’t help me with any bills. He ordered 1 pizza since he’s been here in 10 days. Eating my food. Using my pink headset for Xbox I have to go home and he’s using my shit. Laying around. I told him this morning we got onto another arguments and now he said he’s leaving on Monday. After he goes to the DMV.. so now I have to bring him to the DMV when I have my own things to do. I’m not his mother and I’m tired of being his mom! It’s not attractive at all. I’m in my 30s. I’ve been helping him all through my 20’s and look at the thanks I got.

He left me for a slut at his job. That was pregnant by their manager 2 months after ending it with him 🤣 and now he thinks I’m supposed to play his mother

And if I stop talking to him now for a few days he will pop up at my house? And force me to be in a relationship with him and it’s hard to get rid of him and get him out of my house. He’s been here for 10 days and I can’t get him to leave. Now he thinks Monday when I get out of work I should go bring him to the DMV when he’s been here for 2 weeks uninvited and I want him to leave.

I’m 32 years old and have someone literally forcing me to fucking be with them. Against my will. In my house. Driving them around. When they pop up on me for trying to break up with them it’s PSYCHOTIC

what am I supposed to do? I need him to leave me alone and give me space and he obviously can’t do that. Because he can’t do anything for himself or do anything on his own…… Is my problem somehow…..