I know this title is a mouthful and let me explain. I've spoken on here about the situation with my husband. We had been married 6 years. He was always depressed. He had a self harming issue and had tried to take his life several times. His sister accidentally spilled the beans to me that he had been sent to gay conversion therapy in his youth from age 13 to 17. He had always talked about liking males as young as 6 so his parents sent him to conversion therapy. We talked about it and it was a very tough conversation that he didn't want to have because he was "fixed". His idea of being fixed is basically being numb and not feeling anything anymore and it's why he was terrified of therapy because he thought all therapy was like that. Since finding all this out we talked. I convinced him to try therapy. REAL therapy and he's in a much better place now. He is openly gay now and we have romantically separated. I had to make a choice after hearing that from his sister. Our marriage.... Or his life. Because the way things were going he was gonna successfully kill himself one day. His parents are no contact with him now but we still have contact with his sister. He has been 3 months clean on self harm and is happy. I've been in therapy to cope with the loss of my marriage and we are still good friends. I'm not mad at him because had he never been sent to a place that manipulates you into being someone you're not than we wouldn't be here right now.

Anyway we still live together. Just sleep in separate rooms. I finally decided to get on tinder. It's been several months. I haven't gotten sex in a while (not that we had very much sex while together anyway) but I'm very horny. I have a date this weekend and maybe I'm overthinking it but all I can think of is how do I explain this. Like yes I'm still legally married and live with my husband but I'm "single". He's gay anyway. That's a lot. My sil said it's a first time tinder date and I don't have to say anything. Maybe she's right but I'm just real nervous.