I’m 8 weeks pregnant now. This is my first pregnancy and people keep asking me if I’m happy and if I’m excited and I’m just not. I have barely anything planned and have no idea where to start. The information my doctors, mom-friends, and family are giving me is so overwhelming. The actual feeling of pregnancy isn’t comfortable or enjoyable at all. I’m worried about being a good mother and passing down the trauma and issues my mom has. It’s like the worries and fears never stop. I’m mean to my husband and irritable all the time, and I hate it.

And I’m supposed to be ‘happy.’ I’m angry with myself for not being happy and excited like most mothers are. There’s a lot more fear of pregnancy there that I’m not describing from childhood and readings I’ve done. And I don’t want to feel as though I have to or I’m supposed to be happy, either. I just want to enjoy a meal, and sleep through the night. I want to be knowledgeable in this new venture but I’m just not. It’s new, of course I’m not. I just wonder if anyone else can relate to how I’m feeling right now. Will this feeling go away? How can I fix this to focus on my new baby?