The last two times my ex and I broke up I sat there and dwelled, usually took about 2 weeks for me to fold and reach out both times & would cry multiple times a day everyday for those two weeks. Last time we decided to try again I told him that if he mentions breaking up again there’s no more chances (he would threaten the relationship everytime he would get mad). Of course he threaten the relationship again & but claimed he forgot that I said that & we should put it pass us. I tried but I just couldn’t and then told him that I need a break and that I’m just not happy and not getting anything from him but disrespect while I was trying so hard and kept feeling so stupid for being the one that reaches out everytime we break up. This time he said he’ll fully remove himself and blocked me on everything. Surprisingly I’m ok & was instantly at peace. I actually prayed to God to remove him if it wasn’t the right person for me. It’s been a week now and I don’t feel drained, and feel whole again.

I downloaded Bumble, even though I don’t like dating apps & I never used one before since I feel like most people use them for hookups. The main reason I downloaded bumble was for the bff option, but i did go on the dating side and matched with a couple of people, interacted with a few but only kept up conversations with one. This person has been kind, we talked about a lot of things but the main thing was me wanting to get back into church. They mentioned how they recently decided to go back to church as well and invited me to his church on Sunday & then said we can go out to eat after church. This is the most wholesome thing ever to me. We’ve been talking for 3 days now through text, and he’s very respectful. (But every guy is at first right, lol) Out of everyone I matched with he has been the one that hasn’t made the conversation feel awkward. Our conversation isn’t flirty is more like two friends talking. I don’t plan on getting in a relationship but I do want to go on this “date” if I may call it that. In the back of my head I’m like “geez girl it’s only been a week” but maybe because the conversation has been more friendly then flirty I don’t feel like it’s a date just two people hanging out.