Can I start by saying I know I am blessed. I know there are women out there that desperately want children and don’t have any yet, and I pray for those women to have their dreams come true.

So I know I am blessed to have already have had children previously.

But sitting here watching my children wrestle, while actively going through the mini labor of miscarriage. Bleeding through my pants because I didn’t prepare enough. It hurts.

Not just physically.. but mentally and emotionally.

I’ll never meet this baby, at least not in this lifetime. I spent those 6 short weeks dreaming about who you’d be, and filling my Amazon cart with things I was going to spoil you with.

Dad and I came up with different names, although we knew we didn’t care what your gender was and we weren’t finding out until your birth, which would’ve been around your siblings.

But now my womb is empty, my arms are empty, and a piece of my heart is empty. Few people knew you existed, and those who did still can’t comprehend the pain of losing you.

You may have been but only tiny, but you made a big impact on me already. I’ll never know what color hair you would’ve had, or even your eyes, but I know you were beautiful. Too beautiful for this earth.

I just pray you’re happy and watching over us now, and that you know how much I love you. 😭💔