What’s the point ?

My husband says he wants a baby and when we get the peak.. he knows today, tomorrow and the next day are the most important. Tell me why he wanted anal today and cummed in my Butt. Right before he stuck it in I said no and he did it anyway so I allowed it,.. I’m devastated and crying next to him in bed. This obviously only is important to me.. I give up and so depressed now as I feel I ruined our chances of trying. Idk how to express this to him. I’m hurt and devastated. He said he forgot it was my peak but no he didn’t.. we talked about it all day… I’m so clue less and hurt and feel embarrassed I’m over here crying about it