What was supposed to be a surprise birthday

I got asked to help host a surprise birthday for a family member. I agreed to do the decor, invitations, favors, games, and venue.

The mother of the birthday person then told them there was a party and theme. Fine. Then now the birthday person went to the venue. Now they are planning their own stuff.

I'm a great party planner. I throw large huge beautiful parties. I'm finding this insulting at this point to my time and money I had gifted for this.

My husband is pissed as it has taken me for needing help with the kids and money for me being treated like I'm not having a good enough party. I have had hosted planning parties where the birthday mom cried for how wonderful I have made this party. So it seems disingenuous now.

This is for an adult and she's now sending pictures of the things she's planning for the party. It really is rubbing me wrong. When I'm getting these messages I keep replying vague "what's that for?" As I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm not doing a good enough job.

My feelings are hurt and I'm getting fed up.