Awhile ago i had to make a choice to have an abortion. I took the pills and everything didn't go off quite right and i ended up needing a D&C. I was confident in my decision up until recently. Me and my partner decided we want to have a child together. I have other children from my ex but he has none. We settled on one child together. The problem is that its not happening and im scared it's because of the D&C. All my other kids have been easy to conceive. Ive never had to try to get pregnant. Unfortunately i have had quite a few miscarriages. The abortion was a choice i made after a condom broke, i was in a horrible situation and couldn't fathom bringing an innocent child into the world. But now i feel im being punished. I have this wonderful man who loves me and my kids, he is kind and gentle and loving to a fault. And i cant get pregnant. We've been tracking cycles and ovulation, we've been following all the suggestions of when and everything and we've been optimistic, but ive never had to try like this. Getting pregnant is the one thing ive always been good at, minus miscarriages. But i haven't even gotten pregnant in all the months we been trying. And my partner is good, he had a count done and we were told we wouldn't have a problem getting pregnant but here we are. So it's obviously my fault. Don't get me wrong. I don't regret having an abortion, not one bit. But i want to give this man everything and im failing the one thing that's always come easy to me, even when i didn't want it. I can't help but to feel like the D&C is the cause. Especially after my partner got tested. My doctor still won't send me to a specialist. She is unaware of the abortion as I live in an illegal state and had to travel for care. Im scared to tell her, if she reports it i could be prosecuted. Idk what to do anymore.