My OCD suddenly came on post-partum 5 years ago. I’ve gone to therapy for about 3 years and was diagnosed & treated for OCD but I’m still struggling badly. I have different subtypes, and idk what this is technically called, but one surrounds my son’s safety where I have intrusive thoughts of me not being able to keep him safe and bad things happening.

Due to that, I’m uncomfortable with him going to town with other people without me, even my husband. I hate myself for feeling this way and I hate how most mom’s can’t wait for dad to take the kid(s) out so that she can get some alone time, but it’s so distressing for me. It’s not relaxing and it’s my least favorite thing in this entire world.

My husband has really only ever taken him about 5-10 min down the road to dollar general to grab some milk or something and even that is hard for me, but today he wants to take him about 20 min into town to the mall and play in the arcade and eat lunch and walk around with his friend and his son (for a boy’s day, mom not allowed). I’m full blown panicking, crying.. I can’t keep him safe if I’m not there and all I can do is continuously have intrusive thoughts about all the things that could go wrong. But I know it’s not fair to either of them to try and stop it, so I’m in my room hiding so that they don’t know how badly I’m panicking.

If you don’t understand OCD and how it works please don’t comment telling me I’m selfish. I just need some kind words from other moms who struggle with OCD and know the feeling.