We've been together for over ten years and married for nearly three. There's just been new issues that I'm not sure how to handle...

I just feel like I am obligated to take care of my wife's needs, but she says it's my fault I feel that way essentially. I feel like I have to feed her, make sure she gets to bed on time, make sure the bed is clean, and be with her as she showers.

Yeah, that's right. I've told her a thousand times that I don't feel comfortable sitting in the bathroom when she showers because it's so humid that I can barely breathe, yet each time she goes in she calls for me to join her. And she tells me it's her safe space and that she likes me nearby. And so I come in there and wait an hour until she finishes.

But a lot of things feel like that- that I am babying her. But she won't feed herself but once a day otherwise and she'll just choose to live uncomfortablly and just complain about things left and right until i try and help.

Even when we go out to eat I hate it because we will be on our way but she'll keep asking about other places to go, and then when we finally arrive at the place of her choosing she'll say something like "God I really don't want to eat here." And if I don't choose the right place then she'll just get stressed out, get me food, then take us both home.

But she tells me that it's my fault for not setting boundaries and that I'm the one babying her so it's my fault. I said to her "Can you start being more independent?" And she responded with "I'm as independent as you let me be." Then left to play online with her friends.

Who's right- me, her, a little of both?