Do We Even Keep Trying?

I (26F) am in a hetero relationship of 4.5 years with my partner (32M) and since year 2, things have just been getting progressively worse. We disagree on almost everything inportant yet stay for the "potential".

My partner loves me in the ways I've always thought I wanted but our communication is horrible and I don't even feel like were friends. This is huge for me because I've NEVER not been friends with a person before we started into a relationship. As an adult, its almost impossible to be "friends" with someone and get to truly know them when you both have lives and responsibilities and don't have mutual friends or are exposed to eachother often like you would be when you are in school or work together.

I feel like his love is "annoying" because I don't feel connected to him the way I have with my previous relationships and we disagree on ALL of the important things. He's religious and I am spiritual (agnostic) so while he prays to "GOD" I pray to the universe. He has a very Christian view on what a woman is and should be to a man while I am extremely progressive and open-minded.

He wants children and I do not. I know I'm still "young" and people tell me the "you'll change your mind" BS all the time, but I've known since I was 12y/o that I didn't want kids, so that possibility is EXTREMELY low. (Even seeing my friends new baby I felt no desire to be or have the responsibilities of a mother)

We have conversation after conversation about all the ways our relationship doesn't fulfill us and how we are the same steps away from disaster as we are from success, and yet nothing ever changes and the cycle continues.

He refuses to entertain my ideas of couple's counseling which concerns me because as long as I've known I didn't want kids, I've known that the person I'll marry will go to a year's worth of counseling with me before we even start planning a wedding (or planning our date at the courthouse).

Our sex life is awful, not because the sex is bad (it's very good), but because we have NO intimacy! My body may feel fulfilled, but my mind is left wanting and neglected so no matter, what I feel unsatisfied and undesired. Everytime I try to tell him what I need, he tries for maybe one session and then it's back to getting texts like "suck some dick please and thank you" which I HATE when he texts me for sex because it makes me feel like a casual fuck and NOT a partner that he desires.

He says I don't inspire or motivate him and I can say that I feel the same. His ways of "motivation" always feel critical and give ne serious demand avoidance (like when you were younger and about to clean your room and your mon walks in and says "clean your room" and you no longer want to just to spite her). Our relationship can be so extremely petty and I feel like he expects a 1950's obedient housewife out of me and I have NO desire to be that.

On the other side of the coin, if we could just figure out how to communicate how one another needs, we could be a power couple; what does it matter though if when we get down to it, I can't/won't give him what he wants (kids) and I'm not willing to compromise on that.

He jokes "you gonna help me find my BM?" but I can't help but feel it's not a joke because I know he wants nothing more than to start a family, but I will NOT be raising someone elses child and dealing with another woman (cuz either he'll have to pay for IVF or he'll have to f*ck someone...which absoloutley NOT).

I say all this to ask, is it even worth working things out and getting to a great place if we are just going to continue to disagree on the HUGE things that determine a successful relationship?