Not sure ìf i can be a good woman

So I've cheated twice in my past relationships. I try to analyze why I did it. Thr first time my bf was an ass and would call me names ect. After seeing how I hurt him I learned to just break things off if I'm being mistreated.

The 2nd, my bf was hrs away, had a lot of issues going on, my car broke down and I couldn't see him or get to him. My BD who I kept telling I was seeing someone didn't respect it-- I guess bc he couldn't physically see him. Well, he kept making passes. I kept saying no, multiple times,multiple days, weeks he still kept trying, kept touching me and would pop up at my place unannounced and I just gave in.

100% my fault. I could've not did it but .. I just succumbed to the pressure. I feel I can't trust myself now.

What would you all would've done different in the 2nd situation? I want to love and experience something healthy but I don't want to hurt anyone. So idk.@ Jena: I know. I learned from the first time the second time was hard as i told my.BD to leave me lone but he wouldnt. Still my fault 100% but i wish he left me alone.@Molly; I told my BD no so many times. He doesnt care. Another example is, i told him it was late and he could see his daughter tommorow he kept insiting to come i kept saying no and we went back and forth and before i knew it he was knocing on my door. My daughter heard his voice and wanted to see him. Only reason i let him in and ofc she cried and i hd to deal with it after he left. We share a chìld and i feel he uses that to his advantage. I dontwant to keep my daughter from him but the next time he does that i told him im calling the police and not opening th door.@ Maria: thank you. I do want to do therapy.@Fran; first time i just wanted to be with aomeone.that loved me my bf at the time did not. 2nd time was kind of harassment bc i told my BD no multiple times and he wont and i just gave in. I need stronger boundwries and to be stronger i feel.