How to build my husband self esteem so he can stop making us miserable

My husband has ALWAYS complained about his life and never getting to fulfill any of his dreams. He dropped out of college when I got pregnant with our oldest son even though he didn't HAVE to. I told him not to. He could just live off dorm and go to classes but he still chose to drop out and has blamed me and our son for it. We've had two other kids since. My oldest son is about to be 17, our daughter is 14, and our youngest son is 10. My husband has gotten more bitter over the years because of our oldest son. Both me and my husband are overweight but our oldest plays hockey and he's probably the thinnest one in our family which my husband hates. Our son streams on twitch and has started making money that way. Last summer he streamed so much that he actually made more than my husband's job. My husband also hates his job btw so he hated that our son made that much money. He has put it away for college. My son has been approached by several colleges not just for hockey but also for Choir. A fine arts college approached him about his singing. My husband has just gotten more bitter and more jealous and has said he hates his life and he hates our son. I know he doesn't mean it. He's yelled that he hates me before. He just drinks now and stays angry. Him and our son don't get along very well. He's always yelling at him about something and it's gotten worse the last few months. He says our son is cocky and tells him how vanity is a sin and he's not as good looking as he thinks he is. He's called our son's girlfriend a whore and said he's just gonna get his whore pregnant and ruin his life like he did. Things have been so bad at home that my son doesn't come out of his room anymore. I think it's affecting his schooling because his grades are slipping from mostly A's and a few B's to mostly B's and some C's. His teachers also have told me they've noticed he started a habit of pulling his hair out. They had a really big fight yesterday because my husband found out that the money he's put away for college he's gonna use to move out the second he turns 18. My husband was angry about it and accused him of being cocky because he thinks all his college will be paid for and he won't have to pay for school. Him and my son were yelling at each other and things got physical. My daughter was crying and I told her to take her brother and stay in the room. He broke our son's door down, out holes in the wall. They both got bruised and my husband pulled out a knife. Nobody was stabbed. It was a scare tactic.

My husband has calmed down and I told him he needs to stop drinking and go back to college. Finish his degree. If he wants to lose weight we can work out together to feel better about ourselves. He said he will think about it. I think if my husband just has something to feel happy for. If he can be fulfilled and have better self esteem he will be okay. How can I get him to see he has a good life and raise his self esteem a bit so he can go live his dreams. The kids are in school now. Nothing is stopping him besides his own self esteem

Edit: I don't want my kids growing up without their dad. Mine died when I was 10 and it RUINED me. A lot of his issues stem from drinking and he drinks because he feels unfulfilled in life

Edit: I know my husband sounds bad but a lot of it is the alcohol and his low self esteem. He is a good father. Even though he didn't have to be did drop out to be a father. I am sure it hurts that he didn't get to accomplish any of his dreams. When I put on this ring I promised for better or for worse. Also my son's future isn't "compromised". He is so smart and so talented. Which is why he has colleges approaching him his JUNIOR year. He can do sports. He can also sing and enjoys fine arts. He even did theater as another elective and loved it. He has so much talent. I'm not worried about his future because I know he will go far.

@A telling someone who's father DIED that they have daddy issues is fucked! You know nothing about my dad. He died from cancer. No I never had daddy issues