Iv got alot on my mind and alot of time alone with it HELP!

I grew up in a christian house hold.... absolutly against abortion. I never saw anything wrong with it. I was SA only 5 years into my life so i grew up quickly and understood too much. Fast foward to 8th grade when my 19 year old brother got his 16 year old gf pregnant. That was the 1st time i saw my mom pro abortion. But then said "no its not life threatning so she needs to own up" fast foward to jan of 2020 i find out im pregnant but have extreme hypermis gravadium. I managed. My son was born sept. We took on a company and now run it full time, So i Decided i was one and done even though i wanted more kids. Well i made that decision the week I became pregnant because i felt ill the followeing week Nd turns out i was pregnant. Again i had hypermisis but this time worse. I lost weight. And spent alot of time in the ER trying to get fluids because i couldnt keep ANYTHING down. I passed out in piblic places. It was horrible. It told my mom i wanted more kids but i was noe terrified. My mom suggested that if i were to get pregnant again that it be best to terminate just because of how sick i got (not including about 30 other reasons) and that my 2 kids need me more on the sane side. Of course things happen even as a responsible adult. The condom sliped up into me it killed the mood. I started to panic. And well i fell pregnant. I found out yesterday and had my appointment to terminate today. Iv taken the 1st pill and now need to insert 4 pills into me to conclude the termination l. A follow up had been scheduled for friday. Because of how i was raised and given my dad just passed away 3 months ago i have an overwhelming guilt im doing somthing wrong. Im scared to tell my mom. I feel its cause a part of me knows she still thinks its wrong. I been taight to nelive its wrong. I dont want to but for me and my family and even my buisness i cant stay pregnant. Its for the better. I have alot of mixed emotions i guess i just wanted to vent here.