Postpartum hormones

Im assuming its these.post.partum hormones..but they are ruining me. Causing me to hate everhthing and resent my fiance of 13 years. Im angry. Filled with anger. Not suicidal. I love my children im not angry with them.. i love them. Just him. Hes done so much and has continued to work while im off on leave. He helps out and cleans the house, does laundry. And I dislike him right now. And im angry at myself for feeling this way. My body is ruined literally destroyed. I was 80 pounds over weight when i.got pregant. I lost the pregnancy weight and an additional 24 pounds and in continuing to lose weight because i refuse to be obese anymore. He reassures me im beautiful and my body is and how I just was pregnant with our 9 pound son. But it angers me more..because I dont want reassurance..not from him. I dont want reaasurance from anyone. We havent had sex in literal months..and im scared the first time we do(im 3 weeks post partum) hes not gonna stay erected...and im angry at hin for that and its not even happened yet. Please dont.judge. im the verge of crying every single day. What can I do to not feel this way.