Warning: cocsa, sa, incest

I’ve been living with this horrible secret for almost 10 years and I just need to tell someone. I don’t remember when it started (first memory I have was when I was 9), but a man in my family (I can’t remember his face, but I’m assuming it was my father because he’s said inappropriate things to and about children before) started touching me inappropriately. I don’t remember if he ever put his penis inside me, but I do remember him just touching me a lot with and without clothes and him using my thighs and hands to please himself. I was also getting inappropriate comments and touching from a teacher at the time (early bloomer so I had quite a nice figure and boobs at a very young age, I often got inappropriate comments and touching from older men and boys which didn’t help). This lead to me developing a pornaddiction, and me starting to overly sexualizing myself, having sex regularly with multiple people at the age of 11/12. And I don’t know why or what I was thinking because I don’t remember most of my childhood, but I started encouraging my siblings to touch themselves inappropriately and at one point I also started making them touch me inappropriately. I don’t think my sister remembers anything from this time because she was so young, but my brother did end up raping me multiple times when we were older (some would call this karma). I just feel so disgusted with myself, I was supposed to protect them as their older sister and I ended up being the one they should’ve been protected against.