Loss… again.

Today marks the start of loss number 3. Im so drained. Im over getting excited. Im over this feeling. Before this pregnancy hubby and i had decided that our 2yo would be our only child and that we would stop trying and get a vasectomy. Well we had a surprise and now we are here. Again.

2 years of relentless trying to end up with a PCOS diagnosis and on fertility treatments for our daughter. 2 years since and my body has obviously started ovulating on its own but must be poor quality eggs.

The reason we decided to stop after 2 losses was due to my mental health and just the toll it takes on my body so when i fell again i was so upset as i knew the likelihood of losing another one. Personally, i feel losing a baby is harder than having a baby. i wasnt prepared. For anything

Not sure why im typing this but just needed to vent.