Depressed with my boyfriend I don’t know why

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and have a kid from a previous relationship I’ve been single for so many years and we live far apart.

Recently I am really down and everything he does annoys me and / or I just have no energy and feel fed up. I hear him making immature jokes or say stupid shit and I just feel myself sinking more into the deep dark pit of sadness. He gets my mood wrong and thinks I say one thing but mean another and tried to joke that I manipulate things when I told him I don’t,

My mum abused me and my ex husband ( the babies father ) abused me too, I have and will never manipulate anyone or control anyone in any way.

He tries to tell me what to do for my ‘ best interest ‘, I’m not happy with my job they are treating me like shit there and they know I can’t afford to quit but due to the hours I can only work no where else is hiring me.

There’s an age gap ( he’s younger than me ) and he acts younger, I’ve wanted another baby for years but he’s not ready, he says he wants to move in with me but isn’t serious about it otherwise he would be getting his driving sorted or would be getting serious about the career he wants to look for work where I live but doesn’t bother. All the time he is working right now he is always left with no money owing family money when he gets paid again and I just know I can’t rely financially on someone like that it’s just another empty promise.

I have left him once already shortly before our one year anniversary because I felt this exact same way as I reached 30 I didn’t want to look back in 10 years time and realise that I’ve wasted my life with someone else these next 10 years are crucial to me being happy and expanding the family and so on, he can afford it going wrong but I can’t !

If he isn’t here visiting ( we live far apart ) he’s calling and on the phone constantly , I’ve lost my online friends and recently when I’m on a call I say nothing and just hang up without saying where I’m going and avoid taking calls if he tries to ring back.

I don’t know if I’m unhappy with life , where I am or if it’s him or a mix of everything.

I also suffer with OCD which also affects me.

What do I do ?