Am I raising a momma's boy?

Question

I suppose I'm worried because many people have jokingly called my son a momma's boy. He's 15 and we are really close. He was born 90% deaf so we had to learn sign language together and before he got his cochlear implants I was his ears so we had a close relationship from the start. He's always super excited to share his interests with me and his favorite things. I don't always get it but I try to. I watched every episode of Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel with him because he is obsessed with the franchise and would always tell me about it but I didn't quite get it and after watching it... Yeah still not my thing but I watched it with him to make him happy. He's never had a girlfriend, but he's also 15 but is that old for a teenage boy to not have a girlfriend? He's not ashamed to hug me in public or around his friends which I'm happy about but it's also what gets him called a momma's boy. I just don't want to be one of those toxic boy moms ya know? Nor set my son up for failure when and if he does start dating. He's a very sweet kid and while extremely hyper, extremely caring and thoughtful and I hope I'm not making him into a person that will have a hard time finding love because nobody wants a momma's boy

Answer

As someone whose biggest turn off is a mommas boy, I wouldn’t say this is concerning. What would be is if you think your son can do no wrong, you never allow him to be independent and you only let him depend on you, you don’t teach him to cook or clean because mamma will always be there to do that for him or his wife will just do it for him, you raise him to believe that you come before his wife and is better than any other woman in his life, you don’t have boundaries with each other, emotional incest, etc. But being involved in your son’s life and him hugging you in public is normal and nothing to be ashamed of.

Answer

I don’t think 15 is too young honestly. I shouldn’t have dated at 15. I shouldn’t have even dated before graduating high school at all bc I got too distracted and my social life took hits when it shouldn’t have. My husband was close to his mom throughout his life (she is a GOD SEND, I think I love her more than he does 😂). He had “girlfriends” in high school, but he was way more interested in cars, racing with his best friend (who has since unfortunately passed), and sports. He got into his first serious relationship after he graduated. They dated for years, got engaged, and then she cheated on him. We met almost a year after they ended things and dated for a few years. We are now married and expecting our second baby. As long as the relationship doesn’t take a toxic turn on either end, I don’t see a problem with a guy being close to his mom in any life stage. I may also be biased bc I have a son. I hope we’re close when he’s older. I hope we have that comfortable, open communication. I don’t want him to be afraid to tell me if he gets into trouble or when he needs help throughout life. No, I don’t need to know every waking detail of his everyday life. As individuals, we all need some privacy whether it’s from parents, kids, spouses, etc. I’m honestly glad for you that at 15, he hasn’t “turned against you” in response to the momma’s boy comments. I’ve seen a lot of parent-child relationships take hits bc people outside of the home have something to say about it. Also, our jobs as parents do not include pleasing our kids’ friends or those friends’ parents. Our job is to raise happy, healthy people who decently contribute to society and will also continue to raise more happy, healthy people so on and so forth. If the comments don’t bother your son, I’d say let it go 🤷🏼‍♀️ If you do think it bothers him and he just hasn’t said anything to you about it, maybe you could bring it up? *only* if you think it bothers him though. I wouldn’t say anything if he doesn’t react to the comments at all bc that just shows he’s not concerned about anything. Based on this post, I think you’re doing great.

Answer

As long as you wouldn’t stand in his way when he wanted a girlfriend, then you are fine.

Answer

I think the momma boy issue becomes a problem only when they start moving on to their adult relationship. It’s sweet that he wants to spend time with you. Just be prepared for the day he picks hanging out with a friend or a girl instead- let him have that space. But nothing wrong with having a good relationship with your children.

Answer

My son is 16, he plays football and is your “typical boy”. I had him when I was 16 so we are close because of that. He still calls me mommy, says I love you before I even get a chance when we get off the phone, even on the bus full of his football team, he will give me and hug and kiss in front of them too. Honestly, no one has ever made fun of him or called him a mommas boy. But if they did, he probably wouldn’t care. There’s nothing wrong with having a close relationship and showing love. So nothing about your situation is concerning. It’s over the top when you are literally doing everything for them, past the appropriate age, like when he moves out and you still go clean his house and wash his clothes and cook him dinner (every night, once in awhile is just being kind). It’s when you get jealous over his girlfriends and don’t want him to have one at all. It’s when you don’t let him have space and you get upset over him doing things alone because you would be lonely. It’s calling his bosses if something goes wrong at his job. It’s stoping him from naturally growing because you want him to stay your baby forever.

Answer

Who cares what people think. He’s only 15 and probably not even thinking of having a girlfriend. The fact that you worry about not making him a mommas boy is a great thing. That shows you won’t be a toxic mother because you want the best for him.

Am I raising a momma's boy?

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