Curious if anyone else has been down this road and how you over came it.

Porn has been an issue for my husband and I for years. And let me preface with I am not one to shy or deny my husband. If anything I felt like I had a higher sex drive than him. I am not going to go down the rabbit hole of every story so I am going to try to make this as short as possible and hopefully catch the important details.

First off I am not stupid I get it porn exists and no I never wanted to control him and I get that men will watch it. I watched it occasionally too. So roughly 8 years ago the first issues started where he would stay up late just to use it and I would get less sex. And also let me say I don’t need sex from my partner if his dick got chopped off tommorrow and we couldn’t physically be intimate then that’s fine my issue is choosing porn over a partner continuously every once in a while I can understand. It got to a point where we maybe did it once a week. So we had conversations set some boundaries and then I thought he was honoring them every year the conversation happened again. The best way to describe it is a cycle would happen he would get comfortable then fall into these horrible patterns of behavior. It got so bad I have stopped initiating sex because I was turned down every time and come to find out it was because of porn and masturbating ( he’s a one and done kind of guy ). So skip forward to now after years of dealing with this which was complicated cause like alcohol, porn is fine it’s how you use it so it’s a touchy subject and trying to navigate it has been complicated. I find out that few years on top of high use of porn to masturbate, he also just casually scrolls porn like fucking Facebook? Like sitting in car waiting for an appointment at work and just decides I’m bored let’s pull up porn. And scrolls! Not even getting off just scrolls. Like is that normal? And on top of it for years has been downloading porn videos and downloading special apps to save the videos. Personally Iv only seen this with one other person in my life and they were porn addicts is this something that guys do that I was just blind to? He says it’s normal for guys to do it but to me it does not seem normal at all. Honestly I feel disgusted like I get using porn as an extra boost every once am while but habitually to the point where one just can sit there and just scroll like it’s fucking instagram is weird as fuck to me. But maybe I am missing something maybe Iv been living under a rock haha.

And lastly couples therapy has already happened. We are trying to work through some stuff I am even going to my own therapy cause again maybe it’s perspective on my part. But I truly don’t think it’s so and no one else has been able to assist. If this isn’t normal and you have delt with this then what did you do to make it through? How did you guys over come this? If this is normal then cool then I can just tell myself I learned something new I just don’t think that’s the case but prove me wrong.