I’m not his first choice

I was checking the cameras one day while I was at work and I overheard my husband tell his friend on the phone that he feels like he married and had kids with the wrong person, but he couldn’t see himself being married or having kids with anyone else.

I asked him about it later. He expressed to me that if he could go back in time, he probably wouldn’t have had kids by me. He said I’m not necessarily his first choice, but also told me not to think too hard about it. He told me that he loves me and our kids, but he could go back in time and make changes, he would. He said that a lot of men wondered if they made the right choice when marrying and having kids with someone. I was a little hurt and honestly cried about it.(I didn’t cry in front of him.) I feel hurt, because I really wished I had someone that just truly and honestly enjoyed me. And now that I know that isn’t my husband, I feel very down.

Made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. Our relationship have other problems that I don’t feel like addressing here. Sometimes I think I’m being too emotional, but I don’t know anymore. My mind is in shambles thinking about this.