What to do about hitting/screaming almost 4 yr old?

Question

My almost 4 yr old has a bit of an attitude when hes mad. He will scream, hit, pinch. Ive tried alot of techniques but im not sure if this is just a phase or who he is😅
How did you guys cope with this? Did it ever stop?

Answer

I’m sorry I can’t offer advice as my oldest is only 1 (will be 2 in September) however, I want to follow because he is doing the same thing and we’re having his little brother in September… would really like to cut out how often he is being aggressive with others before little brother is here.

Answer

You teach him empathy. It’s a skill to be learned. 
You stop him from hurting you during the tantrum by physically intervening. And you say, “I will not allow you to hurt my body.” 
After he has calmed down you sit with him and talk with him. You help him think about how those actions affect the people he is hurting. Does he like being hurt by someone? 
Then you help him with ways to cope while he is mad. Because it’s okay to be angry, but it’s never ok to take it out on others. Whether that is taking a break by himself to calm down. Or if he needs affection. Every kid is different. It took a long time for us to figure out what works for my son. He’s 5 and he likes to scream into a pillow to process his anger and then we will snuggle while we talk. 
Then the final step is CONSEQUENCES. Even if he apologizes and it all gets resolved. We usually take away screen time. 
My son has come a long way in the last year just by us being consistent with all this. We also had a parent to son talk about physical violence. My husband told our son, “do not hit my wife again.” And we told him good men never lay their hands on anyone out of anger but especially women. He’s only allowed to be physical if he is defending someone that needs it or defending himself. 
It was a hard talk to have but my son understood and he hasn’t laid a finger on any of us since, even when he is angry. 
Honestly, my viewpoint is that I am raising my son to be a good man someday and there is some grace for typical kid behavior, but hitting is unacceptable in our house.

Answer

you ignore it and remove the objects/person. “We do not hit/scream at people. Go to your room to calm down if you need a break.” the first bit you will have to endure taking him in there, meltdown. but if you stick hard to your rules and don’t bend he will realize he has no other option to communicate. i also took every toy that was thrown until he showed me he could handle it. they need you to help lead them to emotional regulation but don’t be soft and allow abusive disrespectful behaviors. he can go have an outlet somewhere else.

What to do about hitting/screaming almost 4 yr old?

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