Please don't judge me. I'm extremely depressed and a little banged up. I made a mistake that I shouldn't have made. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years. We have a 3 year old son together. I know everything about him and I know he struggles with his family. His brother is not a good human and had SA'd him when my boyfriend was 10 and his brother was 17. His family is still in contact with his brother so he has to be. I've always tried to be there for him and stuff. His brother has also apologized to him and my boyfriend has made it clear he will never forgive him. I was at home and his brother stopped by because their mom was supposed to give my boyfriend his speaker back and his brother brought it instead. It was raining so he came in. My son was asleep upstairs and he offered me weed to smoke. We smoked together. Started talking and one thing led to another. Idk why I did it. Me and my boyfriend haven't been having much sex lately because he's a firefighter and has been seeing a lot of traumatic things lately and I just felt my sexual needs were being neglected. My boyfriend walked in on us and I never felt more shame. He punched his brother in the face and then kicked him out. He told me to get out and I tried to beg but he pushed me out of the house completely naked and locked me out. I fell on the ground naked and scratched my knee. I tried to beg and say I was sorry. He yelled and said "I'm fucking sick of everyone being sorry! How about stop doing shit that hurt me!" So I was outside in the rain completely naked and my son was in the house. I had to walk like that with a blanket around me to my friends house and stay there. His brother didn't even offer me a ride. He just left. I called him this morning to talk and he said unless it has to do with our son to leave him alone. He's already going to call the court to get custody figured out. He gave me the phone to speak to our son but he's 3 so he was distracted. I don't know what to do. I know I fucked up and I have never felt so low in my life ..

Edit: I get it .... I'm the worst human being ever and such a slut .. thx for making me feel worse

Edit2: I put in my post how awful I felt. And you all want to drag me down farther. I thought this was an app where women are supposed to support women but I might as well delete it because it's clear that's not what it is.