Can you get the spark back?

Question

My husband and I have been together for almost 16 years (married for 10 years). We have a four year old and a baby on the way. We do have arguments here and there. In June, we hit a really rough patch; I thought we would end up separating but we talked things through and decided we love each other to keep trying. Since then, I felt we haven’t been the same. What can I do to get the spark back or is it gone?

Answer

you cannot stop DATING. even at 50 years married (just an example) you have to keep dating. like go on dates, be spontaneous, surprise him with his favorite things. find things to rekindle that spark!

Answer

First question is do you both want to rekindle the spark or is it just you. Is he content how things are and doesn’t want to make the effort. Things are comfortable and convenient so why rock the boat. He plays video games and ignores you and doesn’t see an issue. Relationships are what you make them. My brother and his wife are 19 years married. They are best friends. They just went to an amusement park together the other day. Both are retiring next year at 50. Their girls are 16 and 14. The oldest drives. Which takes a lot off their plate now. They have the best marriage. My brother and her both have stressful jobs they both carry guns for work. My brother runs the household. Finances. Grocery shops. Cooks like a chef, he learned on his own . He changed diapers. Did bath time and read books to them. And even now. They both do laundry. And dishes. Vacuum. You name it. The house is so clean you could eat off the floors. My sister in law is in charge of all the things he doesn’t like to do. Make up and clothes and shoes. And costumes. Since they were little. Dance classes. Cheerleading and soccer. School plays. And now homecoming and prom dresses and make up. What one doesn’t like to do the other does. They are the perfect balance. Every night they sit and watch shows and drink wine and reconnect. They have done that since they were little. Every year they take multiple vacations as a family and alone as a couple. Because he’s so good with finances and budgeting. Now that the kids are older, they go out alone more. They had babysitters and grand parents near by when they were younger and always dated and had fun together since the beginning. Vegas for the weekend. Or local places like a Comedy club. Relationships are what you make them. It’s not easy with little ones or being pregnant. Does your partner help you. Take things off your plate. Or are you on your own. Staying together for the sake of the kids. Same routine day in and out. And need to break up the norm. Talk. Communicate. Reconnect. Or connect for the first time in a long time. Maybe couples counseling. Good luck.

Can you get the spark back?

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