I am 22 and my boyfriend of 3 years is 21. We had a great first year of our relationship but then he and his mom moved back in with her husband (whom she was initially trying to divorce). Since they moved in and I got my own place, I started a network marketing business on the side. Boyfriend does not approve at all! But we aren’t married, not even engaged even though his parents talk about having grandkids from us and his friends introduce us as husband and wife to everybody, and I feel like I should be able to make decisions about what I do for money so long as it doesn’t jeopardize mine or our future and isn’t illegal or compromising of my commitment to him. The past two years have been a rollercoaster of emotions: we have fights constantly then we’ll make promises to change and do better, go a couple weeks then fight over the same stuff again. We had an 8 month long break about 8 months ago, and since getting back together things have been way better than before but still a rollercoaster. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around him because I don’t know when he’ll blow up on me. I really love what I do with the network marketing and I’m good at it so I don’t wanna give up on something I love to do. I feel like sometimes I deserve better out of a man, and everyone tells me “you only have one life so do what makes you happy and choose the person who makes you happy”, but on the other hand I can’t seem to quit telling myself I only have one life, maybe 60ish more years on this earth so maybe I should just settle and deal with it till I die because once I’m dead none of it will matter anyway.

I don’t know if I’m just scared to start over because this is all I’ve ever known, or if I actually want to stick around and see if the rollercoaster ever stops. He may come around to my business one day, who knows. He recently bought 10 acres with the idea in mind that we would build our forever home on it. I have other suitors that would like to pursue me but I have shut them down because I am in a relationship and I don’t want to dishonor my boyfriend by giving these other men my attention. Is there actually such thing out there as a man that will never stop dating you? Or does every man quit trying at some point? My luck would be that I give up on my current relationship and then never find anything better. I don’t know if I’m truly happy or just trying to tell myself I’m happy so that maybe I can convince myself and just be okay with it. If you stuck around and read all that, I appreciate you and will gladly accept any advice you have. 🫶🏻

P.S. I need more girl friends lol, it’s lonely out here when all your friends are people that were your boyfriend’s friend first.