So My husband and I have been married 13 years and 16 years together. He's never gotten a boner from looking at my nakedness just when we touch. I thought men were visual creatures and got turned on by seeing a woman naked. Makes me feel like I'm not sexy enough for him... He's been soft often the last 5 years and more distant because I've suffered some mental health problems and I think I'm only pregnant cause I would beg him to have sex with me and would try really hard to get him to have sex with me... Which he would max out with all my efforts normally once a month. I feel like I've failed him... he says he doesn't lust anymore after I asked him if he still lust after me. He's been trying recently to spend time with me instead of isolating himself after I had a breakdown about how he ignores me... and it feels like he doesn't want me anymore... he says thats not it. He's not open with his feelings and suppresses his emotions. He watch alot of porn before we got married and promised not to once I found out. He used to get boners from seeing soft core porn images and hard core porn... but with me it's only been touch. Even on our honeymoon he had to touch himself when seeing me to get himself up. I've just never felt like enough for him even though he says I am. He recently called me the most beautiful woman in the world but if he actually thought I was wouldn't he be turned on by looking at me and not watched porn while going through premarital counciling with me and buying my engagement ring for me then 2 hours later turn to porn instead of having nightly calls with me. He told me tonight porn is aggressively aimed at turning someone on... So even with all my efforts to visually turn him on he doesn't get a erection but he used to with other women (soft core porn). I'm so confused and hurt... I feel undesired... by the way this has bothered me our whole marriage. I want him to desire me as easily as I desire him. I've always been obsessed with him from day 1... I wanted to marry him as soon as I saw him... he felt a connection but didn't want to marry me until a lot later and I asked recently why he married me and he thought about it and said because he can trust me. I think I'll never feel truely disired by him as he's all I've ever wanted but I dont feel I'm the same for him. Ive never watched porn, he's my first kiss and everything else. He is my hearts desire and my favorite person in this world... I wish he wanted me as much as I want him...