My sons, 5 and 2, are picky eaters. It’s so bad that now kindergarten and daycare is sending them home at 1pm. I can’t work like this. It is hard to get them to even taste anything.

My 2 year old screams or runs if I give him sth and he ain’t interested. If he is interested, he eats well. He only eats sausages, bananas, bread. And juice from a straw bottle, never drinks from a cup. If I finally manage to get him to taste something, he will half of the time, eat it.

And then there is the 5 year old!!! He refuses the food. If you insist on him tasting, he will keep it in his mouth for 30 minutes or more without chewing it. Persuading hasn’t worked because he gives up anything he likes if I tell him he gets to do it only after he eats. Recently it took us 5 hours to finish just 6 table spoons of rice. I tried leaving him to learn on his own but it has been 3 years and there is no sign of improvement. He eats apples, bananas, fries, sausage and pizza, bread, milk & juice. That is all he eats consistently. Some times he might try a muffin. Problem is all the foods he eats are not served at kindergarten. The other problem is even the foods he eats, I have to keep reminding him to eat. I tell him more than 10 times to drink his cup of milk in the morning.

Am mentally distressed because of this eating. I have struggled for years and now am in constant meetings about their feeding. It hurts me to watch the bones on my 5 year olds back. He also is weak in his hands. He was born in the 99th percentile but now is in the 40th percentile.

The midwife who also gives tips on feeding said she can’t help me, the paediatrician said he won’t starve to death so I leave him until he learns to eat, the teachers made it clear they won’t keep my kids if they don’t eat.

Have tried getting family to feed them, tried eating together, eating from one plate, using cutlery or none, eating on time or feeding on demand, have tried appetite boosters and supplements, breast fed to 2 years, gave milk and left out milk to see if they will eat better, nothing ever seems to work apart from them deciding, they will eat sth.

My husband says maybe it is time to get a psychiatrist. But no medical doctors have taken me seriously when I tell them the kids don’t eat.

This is weighing me down so much I feel depressed. Especially since everyone talks like it is my fault. I have even had a chef come home to cook us meals because someone was under the impression maybe the food ain’t delicious. Am angry especially at my 5 year old because when am telling him to chew, he seems like he is being defiant. How can someone keep food in the mouth for 30 minutes? We have even tried to show him how to chew. And every time I meet kids who were once smaller than him all much bigger and way taller than he is, my heart breaks. Today I have felt like crying on and off. I have no more interest in food myself or in cooking because it is torment for me. Currently my husband is cooking and helping the older one eat and I try so much to not even look because am frustrated and I see no end coming soon. I can’t do anything until these kids learn to eat. I feel trapped.

I need advice and any tips to help me teach them to try and chew and swallow foods they have decided they don’t want. Please even if I mentioned sth I tried, please tell me again how it worked for you, maybe there is a detail I missed.