My ex and I were on and off for about 2 years or so. We were together for 3 years but the last 2 years we remained friends.. which now I’ve realized it was a coping mechanism because I just couldn’t picture my life without him. He broke it off with me but still would want to see me consistently so I was definitely attached and couldn’t move on. Deep down I was hoping we would work out in the future if I stuck around.. 

BOY was I wrong.

He got a new job and went cold turkey on me for the most part which indicated to me he had probably found somebody new.. anyways 3-4 months later I met somebody super sweet and so loving. I never once put myself out there for 2 years and this wonderful man fell right into my lap. I truly have fallen for him but I fell pregnant pretty fast. Now that I’m pregnant and my emotions are high I’ve been finding myself thinking about my ex and coming to the realization that my life will forever change and I will probably never see him again. I feel so so so guilty for thinking this way because the man I’m with is truly the most genuine and truth worthy guy. He’s somebody that has checked off so many of my boxes, to do lists, and dreams.. something I was begging my ex for 4 years.. which is why I feel so guilty! I don’t think I necessarily miss my ex but I think I’m coming to the realization that this chapter of my life will be closed forever. It makes me so sad and I don’t know what to do about it and am so worried that I’m going to crush my ex when he eventually finds out I’m pregnant and together with somebody else.

I know I shouldn’t feel guilty. My ex never wanted to commit to me and I always felt used by him for money and rides when he didn’t have a car. It was truly a toxic environment. I guess I’m not really looking for advice, but somebody to relate to. It’s something that’s been on my mind for a couple weeks now but I’m not sure if it’s just pregnancy hormones..

Has anybody felt this way before?