Terrified to start over…

I got a positive last Monday and I am really, really in denial. This was not planned and it feels like our family was just starting to get back to normal after our 5 year old beat cancer this year.

Our youngest just turned 4 and we were starting school, my husband was looking for work (he’s been the primary care taker while I work), we’ve all been so optimistic for the future and for stability.

I’m terrified and I don’t know if I can do this again. But I also physically can’t move forward with another course- I strongly support a woman’s right to choose, I just can’t make that choice.

I’m just really scared and it feels like I’m just pretending it’s not happening which can’t be healthy.

I don’t even know how far I could be- my last full period was 7/9 but I had a weird short period on 8/1 that I didn’t even think was my period. This was at 2 minutes and today is only CD31, if I use the 8/1 spotting as a period. Has the line been this dark and for how long?! Or did it just get dark really quickly? 😞😭 I know I have to go to the doctor to find out I’m just driving myself crazy thinking about it.

Just had to get it out, thanks for reading. 💖