My brother in law got paroled from prison a couple months ago and has still not found work. Anon because this information is very sensitive but he got a manslaughter charge for killing my husband's and his dad when he was 18. His dad had been sexually abusing them and what he told police was he was trying to get his dad off of him and stabbed him with a pair of scissors. What my husband told me that actually happened before we got married is HE was the one that did it and his brother took the wrap for it because my husband was only 14 then and trying to get his dad off of him because their dad was a disgusting man. His brother took the blame. Went to prison for over a decade and is out now and still hasn't been able to find work. He's currently living with us and I think my husband just feels guilty. I want to have a talk with him because his brother needs to help us out with bills if he's going to be living here. I understand it's hard for someone with that type of criminal record to find a job but it's been months. I get my husband feels guilty for his brother taking the blame but at the same time he has to understand his brother needs to contribute.

Edit: Ok my brother in law chose to take those charges. From what I've been told my husband didn't want him too and his brother told him "Shut tf up. I did this. When the police come I did this!" My husband was just trying to get his dad off of him because he had been sexually abusing both him and his brother for years. His brother chose to do it. My husband didn't want him to. My husband was 14 at the time and his brother was 18

Edit 2: Had my husband been convicted he most likely would have gotten off easier because he was a minor. Nobody cares more about their trauma than I do. I feel awful about what their dad did to them and I think his brother regardless should have received a lighter sentence or no sentence at all. I can't imagine a parent doing that to me. I'm just saying at some point we don't let our trauma and bad times define us. I know he's trying to find a job. I just feel my husband's guilt is stopping him from pushing harder.

Edit 3: I meant my husband's guilt is stopping him from pushing his brother harder to find a job. I'm really not trying to sound like a heartless bitch. I still stayed after he told me everything. I let his brother move in. I'm not a heartless person. It's just been months and still nothing.

Also my husband did what he did to get his dad off of him. Before I knew the truth I completely defended his brother and thought it was fucked up he went to prison for defending himself against an assault. I don't think anyone should go to prison for stopping someone from raping him. When I thought it was his brother who did it I thought it was wrong and the legal system failed him. Honestly when I found out it was my husband I was taken back and thought about not marrying him. I'm not blaming either of them for why they did what they did.

Edit: This is the worst support app ever. Whenever I first came on here finding this out you were all like "Your boyfriend was 14! If you can give his brother grace why can't you give him grace." Now it's "You're a heartless bitch. Your husband ruined his life." Can we as women ever win?

Edit: instead of being jerks to me tell me how I can help in a way that isn't stressing them both out. Maybe I'm sounding bitchy and heartless but I'm really not. I don't want either of them to feel bad. I like my BIL. He's a very kind and genuine person and I want him to thrive in the real world.