Okay, so this is going to be a kind of long post. I already know that I’m in the wrong for what I’m doing, so you can say that but I already know.

Okay so back story, I met this man at my job around March. He told me that he had a girl at home and he basically didn’t want to be with her anymore but that’s his baby momma so let’s be honest, even if he didnt want to be with her he would stay for his kid. He said if it wasn’t for their kid they wouldn’t still be together. Anyways at the beginning of us meeting in March he told me all this, and he said “figuring things out at home”. Right, whatever. Anyways, we spent time and talked for about 3 days before we kissed, and after that it was probably 3 days after our first kiss we had sex. Anyways so we were like talking on a relationship level type shit for about 2/3 weeks before he decided that he “doesn’t want a relationship” but stayed with his BM (and still is with her to this day) and I told him that I wasn’t looking for a relationship any time soon anyways and I’m okay with just getting to know each other while he’s figuring out what he wants to do, we continued to have sex. Anyways he decided in June that he was going to come clean to his girl and fix things with her. And he doesn’t have feelings for me the way I have feelings for him. Fine cool, broke my heart but I told him I get it and he said he still wanted to be friends and I did too cause I truly care about him. Fast forward a week after he said that we ended up back on our bullshit. And have continued since. About 3 days ago some shit happened and we went on a break. He said a long time ago that since we aren’t together if I mess around with other people that he doesn’t care. I was having a conversation with one of my coworkers (one of his friends who doesn’t know that we hook up) and I made sexual comment during said conversation. By the way it was more of a joking sexual comment not “I wanna put your dick in my mouth” comment. Anyways so the coworker told him, and he basically told me that he doesn’t want to be anything more than friends anymore because “I just found my self going through feelings I worked hard not to feel again. I mean you’ve looked for relationships and ik you’ve said shit like that to them before I have a whole as lady and I feel that way and I ain’t bout it” and “I’m good with us being friends I just can’t be emotionally attached to you like that”. And “I have attachment issues. Not feelings. If that makes sense” but no it doesn’t make sense cause he said emotionally attached. I want to get over him, I need to get over him. But it’s so hard, he feels like home, I’m so comfortable with him. Like I’ve never been so comfortable with someone before. And I crave him. I know I need to let him go, for my own self. I don’t really want to let him go if we’re being honest. But I need to, if he loves me and I love him. But we can’t be together then I just need to let him go. I just don’t know how. I'm at the point where I want to tell him he either needs to cut things off with me 100% or just be with me.