I hate my mom

I love my father so much, but my mom I can’t her. Just by her talking irritates me…. I mean I do have love for her but we can never get along she always compares me to her friends sons and daughter. I’m honestly not that bad I am a single mom but I work I just graduated school I don’t go out to parties like that I only go like once a month AND I DO NOT DRINK OR SMOKE. I’m not saying I’m perfect but I know there’s people who behave worse than me. She’s always body shaming me, when I was skinny she said I looked ugly now that I gained weight she’s saying I’m to fat she wishes I would not party ( I don’t even party like that) I had a horrible thing happened to me when I was little and instead of trying to find out what’s wrong she would either beat me or embarrass me of what I use to do cause of my trauma, I hate it here. I’m only here because of my son but idk how to be strong anymore I was doing so good and now I’m down sad again and my mom doesn’t make it any better ;/ yes I talk back I always argue w her and I hate it. I just wish I could get along w her