Initiating sex

My bf never initiates sex… and when I’m in the mood I just ask “can we have sex tonight” to which I’m told “idk” or “idc” and it’s annoying when we first got together he would initiate plenty and so would I but after 4 years I just feel like I’m always asking and it’s the same routine: I ask I get told idk or idc and I say that’s not what I want to hear eventually he goes ya ig and I give him a bj he goes down on me and then we have sex for maybe a minute or so and I don’t care about how long he lasts as much as I care about being bored and wanting him to want me I just don’t feel great about myself… never really have… and now I tend to feel like it’s putting a strain on the relationship at least on my end

P.s we’ve been together for almost 5 years met in the military and just bought a house together; after I relocated half way across the country from my family. we love each and care for each other but I definitely think this is making me withdraw a bit….