Emotionally drained after visits

It seems like my mother has a lot to say about my parenting, I spoil my 5 year old daughter too much, I yell too loud, I have very little boundary. Yet she sees her maybe once every 9 months. And I fall into the trap of justifying myself by explaining. So when I got home, I felt emotionally drained, emotional and like a shitty mother. I sat down with my daughter and asked her how she feels when I do xyz. To get a perspective from her and maybe to understand am I being a bad mom.

Should I say something to my own mother?