Spicing things up and feeling selfish

I’m in a 4 year relationship and we have great sex! Always had great compatibility and he is the first guy I have ever came from just penetration with and we are always in sync. However, we both get a little bashful sometimes. I want to suggest new things and come up with sexy ideas, but always feel like my ideas are selfish. When I think of toys, they really mainly revolve around me, or even things like lingerie make me feel good, but he doesn’t really care too much about that. I just don’t know what to suggest to get him excited, which would make me excited too. He loves blow jobs, but since I struggle with my ph, doesn’t like to go down on me so it feels more one sided and I don’t get the same pleasure from pleasing him in that way like I have in the past. Any ideas or suggestions? We get caught up in quick sex and he doesn’t seem to love extending foreplay. He also sometimes struggles to get/maintain an erection, but hasn’t opened up about it bothering him or anything.