My husband rapes me

So I've been married to my husband for 6 years. I have epilepsy so I have seizures and pass out especially if I am exposed to flashing lights, high stress or extreme pain. And when I pass out he does things then acts like I wanted it. And I know it's happening because I'm aware and awake sorta. And I know I should leave but I can't I don't drive and I don't have a job. I have 2 kids to raise.i have a friend that knows the situation but I'm keeping them in the dark about the most recent events because I don't want them to do something that sends them to jail. They're the only one I have told everything to. I just want this all to end. I love my husband but I hate he walks on my autonomy